Pre-1st Day Jitters

And so, it's here, I've reached the turning point. I made it through the summer in one piece and had a great one at that, experiencing so much and meeting so many new people. It's a summer I'll never forget, but I have no time to reminisce about it.

Tomorrow, I start Grad school.

I'm about halfway through my readings, and I think I'll be all right as the students organize and pick which readings they get to lead. That way, I don't have to feel so bad about not finishing, as I do better when the information is presented to me in such a guided fashion. The things I'm REALLY scared about are the assignments for the coming week - a few papers, presentations and a 5 page bibliography, all due on according dates.

I'm not worried about that so much as my actual topic. I had the unfortunate luck to receive the topic email while I was away, without internet access. My topic in mind was slip dresses of the 1990s - I'm interested in recent fashion history (being that I've lived through it) and figured that FIT's collections would provide ample amounts of information regarding the subject based on their designer collection alone.

30 minutes later I am shot down, for a couple of reasons. 1) Apparently, recent history is not really "history" because it hasn't been analyzed yet (isn't that my job though?), so it's best to veer away from anything post-1995. 2) The topic was too specific in its own right. I was then bombarded with a slew of analytical questions regarding the slip dress as a whole, its origins, derivatives, couldn't this be this and that be thats, etc. Don't get me wrong, I'm not pissed at my professor. If anything, it was a great reality check in the sense that, for lack of better words, fuck - I have my work cut out for me.

So I emailed her with the possibility of Clothing under Communism during certain decades of choice, being that it seemed like she wanted a broader field of study. She hasn't replied back, but I don't expect her to. We're all meeting up tomorrow at 3:30pm and I'm sure any questions or clarifications I need will be answered. I'm sure I'm not the only newb as well.

It's so crazy. In a way, I'm glad I didn't have a break between camp ending and this beginning, because I'm going straight into something exciting once more. In another sense however, it would have been nice to have like a week or five days in between - my home life is totally nuts and nothing is organized. It's so overwhelming, I'm even procrastinating right now.

I am excited to be in the city for a prolonged period of time however. I hope to get a job on campus at the library, and a possible internship is in the mix. I'll talk more about that later.

So yes, I'm nervous, excited, curious, prepared and unprepared all at the same time. I have no idea what to expect, I haven't had time for this to sink in and I'm mentally exhausted from all of the worrying and frustration that led up to my acceptance, I just want to start and keep moving.

I just hope I have what it takes.